25 signs

Ok ……. It’s dark and rainy ….. I didn’t win the powerball …….

And 22 out of  25 ring true - UGH

25 Signs You've Grown Up

1.  Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3.  You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4.  6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5.  You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6.  You watch the Weather Channel.
7.  Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8.  You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9.  Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10.  You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11.  Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12.  You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13.  Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
14.  You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15.  Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16.  You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17.  Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18.  Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19.  You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20.  A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21.  You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22.  "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23.  90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work
24.  You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25.  You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you.

Email drives me crazy

Email drives me crazy …….

… or is it the people that drive me crazy .. using email as the vehicle to get me there??

So there you are …. Working your day away, when all of a sudden there it is …. A new email message has just entered your world.  As you open up the message your mind is pre-occupied with the mundane activities of daily life.  You read the subject line and it usually reads something like “spooky” or “cool” or “check this out.”

So you open it up.  Now, sometimes this email comes in the form of a link or an attachment .. but there’s no difference .. they’re both as evil as the next.  So you read the message body and it usually says something to the effect of “hey .. check this out .. it’s really weird.  This is a commercial from a car company.  When they filmed it there was this weird mist on the film that they could identify.  All they know is that at one time, there was a bad accident and someone was killed on the road they filmed it and if you look real close you can see the spirit”  and so on and so forth.

Now before I continue, let me say in hind sight that I should know better than to open one of these stupid (expletive) emails, but hey .. I’m human … curiosity … you know.

Anyway ….. so you turn up your speakers and put your nose against the screen searching for this mysterious apparition …. When all of a sudden either something slimy or some little kid with black soulless eyes suddenly pops in front of you accompanied by some hell screech which is about 5 decibels louder than it needs to be.

Your reaction is simple …. Your heart stops beating, you shit your pants, and you make some sort of noise that sounds like a cross between a kitten that just got stepped on and a hooker who didn’t get paid.

I swear to god the next person that send me an email like this is going to get beat in the farging head with a hammer!!

While I’m on this rant let me just say that the picture of the new Pope holding up a beer and a pretzel for communion?  NOT funny so STOP STOP STOP sending it to me!!!

An if you send me an email which says I can see my license on the internet, and I go there and it’s a picture of a monkey?  Well, just know you are a monkey’s ASS!!

…. With that I shall sit back and wait for your emails

Time is a funny thing

Time is a funny thing ……

I went to a high school football game the other night.  It was the first high school football game I had been to in over 20 years ….. WOW … What a trip THAT was.

I don’t have too many fond memories of high school, hence, I don’t have too many warm and fuzzies about the tradition of the Friday night football game.  I do remember being somewhat intimidated by the football players at the time.  Which is strange because either the high school football players of today are much smaller then those of the 80’s ….. or I am just much MUCH larger than I used to be.

Maybe a little of both?

I also became quite aware … fairly early on … that the attitude of high school kids have seemed to change ….. or has it?

Is it true that we “turn into our parents?”

……………. I’d have to say …… “yes it is”

Yes … time is a funny thing.  

I went to 2 separate high school football games … for two weeks in a row ………

…. 20 years apart.

Crosby this, Crosby that

It’s a hockey night in Pittsburg!!!  Pittsburgh fans of hockey have been waiting since the winter of 2004 to hear those wonderful words from our colorful Penguins commentator, Mike Lang.  And now, we finally have our hockey back.  In addition, due to the changes made during the break, it looks like the Penguins have acquired quite a lineup this year.  

We now have Sergei Gonchar, John LeClair, Ziggy Palffy, Jocelyn Thibault, Mark Recchi, Lyle Odelein,  of course … Mario Lemieux, and many other talented players.
If you listen to the media though, you wouldn’t know that.  Actually, if you listened to the media close enough here, you would think that the Pittsburgh Penguin 2005 team consisted of one and ONLY one player.

That’s right boys and girls ….. Sidney Crosby.

Now, I really don’t want this to be a Sidney Crosby bashing rant.  I really don’t know enough about the kid other than what is continuously shoved down my throat on a daily basis.  But enough is enough people!  Give the poor kid a friggin BREAK!  Everytime you turn on the TV here it’s Sidney Crosby this, Sidney Crosby that, Sidney Crosby practiced today, Sidney Crosby ate Captain Crunch for breakfast this morning, Sidney Crosby wiped his ass, Sidney Crosby, Sidney Crosby, Sidney FRICKIN Crosby!

WOW!

Not withstanding the fact that the Penguins have YET to win a game this year (granted, there have only been 4), this kind of media frenzy can’t be good.  I can’t imagine being a fresh faced newbie to the NHL to begin with.  The pressure must be daunting.  Heap a giant spoonful of media mayhem comparing you to none other than Mario Lemiuex and Wayne Gretzky … and I’m sorry folks … but you have a recipe for disaster cooking in the coke ovens of Pittsburgh as I write this.

I have a better idea … why not just paint a big giant bulls-eye right over that number 87 that screams “HEY … COME BREAK ME IN HALF TO PROVE A POINT”

I know we all need heroes, and I know for a fact that the city of Pittsburgh needs a few because to be quite honest, it’s been awhile since we have had more than one.  But heroes are born from the merit of their struggles ….. not because the news media wraps them up in a nice little package and presents them to us with a bow.

Ben Rothlesburger helped the Steelers to win 15 games last year.

Let Crosby grow and become a great player.  Don’t try to force me to love the kid.  If he is as good as you say he is …. Then I and the rest of Pittsburgh will embrace him the way that we do with all our sports heroes …..

With a raised Iron City and a hearty M-HA!

You do the math

When Hurricane Katrina pummeled the Gulf Coast region of the United States, I became acutely aware of certain comments made by some obscure mullahs in the Middle East.  Unbeknownst to me, it seemed that the hurricane was not an act of nature.  Nope … It was Allah’s hand punishing the infidels.

At last count, the death toll from Katrina hovered somewhere around the thousand soul mark.  Quite sad no matter how you look at it.

Then I started to think about the tsunami last year, the earthquake in Iran back in 2003, and the earthquake that just happened in Pakistan, India, and Kashmir.

The tsunami killed upwards of 120,000 people

The earthquake in Iran killed 15,000 + people

The earthquake in Pakistan killed how many?  About 18,000?

So .. Using Mullah Omar al bashidi al muhammed et al ill an ick al husseini bin asheeb asheep asleep acreep al whacksmacki’s equation, I just absolutely MUST ask myself ….

…… WHO exactly is Allah pissed off at?

I can only appreciate

….. while the world spins out of control …..

I remember growing up quite well.  Summers were spent outside, playing with my friends .. in the woods …. In backyards … hell, even in the street (even though the age old “don’t play in the street” was eternally drilled into our psyche).  I remember a world that was clean … safe … antiseptic.  

Yes, I realize that the world of the 70’s wasn’t REALLY all that ….. but I cannot help but think that the world of the 70’s was so much slower, calmer, and … well … less insane than the world of 2005.

Am I wrong?  Please tell me if I am.

Maybe it’s because I grew up in suburbia …. That’s ok though.  There was a time I was actually embarrassed growing up in a neighborhood that had neatly manicured lawns, a mother AND father in every household, and the security which allowed us to roam the streets without worrying that some scumbag with a nefarious agenda would impede on our God given right to grow up without being harmed.

Not any more …….

When I think of my childhood I become terribly homesick.  Homesick for a home that I will never experience again.  The days of waking up to see what Santa brought me are long past … and sometimes it makes me sad.

We have witnessed things we could never have imagined.  I have traveled to places which shattered my perception of how the world was “supposed” to be.  It’s amazing to step on foreign soil and see the world through the eyes of another culture…….

Then and only then could I truly appreciate how wonderful life has been for me …..

I have succumbed

I have finally succumbed to the Blogging addiction that has swept across this great land. Be it born from boredom or the need to spew my ideas SOMEWHERE ..... It has happened all the same.

Sigh

It's cold and cloudy again today in Pittsburgh ..... At least I'm not out west where they just got a thousand feet of snow. But fear not kiddies .. the snow will find it's way here. It always does ;-P

The powerball tomorrow is 240 million. That's $240,000,000. I can't even imagine that kind of duckage. I think maybe I'll buy 5 tickets just because ..... Not because I think I will win but because someone has to win so I might as well be the winner.

I feel the need to be bankrupt in three years ..... might as well live like a king to get there

Yes .. I'm greedy .... aren't you?

Liar!

Like sands throught he hourglass ... these are the days of our lives ;-)